Hi People,

Today, I am in an extremely emotional mood. I don’t usually live with regret of past my actions, but this has been a burden on my heart since a long time.  The regret of not being a better/good-enough daughter to my parents.

We strive so hard to be better daughter-in-laws, professionals, or spouses then why cant we work equally hard to be better daughters ? or sons ?

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A quick background on my parents – my dad is a middle class business man for whom a  Rs. 100 coffee at Starbucks is a luxury he cant afford. My mothers only identity are her children and husband. Period. Today, I am married in Delhi whereas my brother and his family live in Hong kong. My parents live alone, at the age of 60.

I was pampered to the end of eternity by my mother whereas my father was the disciplined one. I on the other hand always found ways to disobey and mend the rules according to my convenience.  While mom is the emotional support, daddy is like a strength pillar, together they never let me fall apart.  My parents like every other parent loved my brother and me unconditionally.  And I, like almost every other child took their love for granted.

I never cooked a decent meal for my parents, I never offered my dad a glass of water when he returned home tired from work, my help in the household chores was limited, my work schedule never allowed me to spend quality time with them, or otherwise I was just too busy meeting with my friends.

My parents faces turned from bright and young into wrinkled and dull in front of my busy eyes and I did nothing to help.

As a daughter-in-law I cook for the entire house, I keep the house clean, I serve food/water to everyone, I accompany my in-laws at every place required, I do all this and more. I don’t regret doing all this for my family, however I do regret not doing it for my parents as well.

As one gets older and wiser, one also gets a little selfish. I realized this, when I saw the movie Dangal. For the people who have not seen the movie – Geeta (a wrestler) is trained by her father from a very young age. The father Mahavir Singh leaves his job, disobeys his family, goes against the society rules to make sure he gives a 100% for Geeta’s training. Geeta goes on to become a national champion and is sent to a professional camp for further training. This is when Mahavir gets lonely and disheartened. A daughter he loved so dearly is now on her way to success and has forgotten the man and the sacrifices he made for her to reach this position.

When I saw Mahavir Singh’s loneliness on screen, all I could do was imagine my parents surrounded with the same loneliness.  They live alone so their children can be happy. They live alone so their children can be successful. They live alone so their children can have a better life. They sacrificed their future so their children could have a future.

But today is a turning point in my life as a daughter. I value my parents and their love more than ever and want to make a promise to them.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am sorry. I promise to be a better daughter. I will be your strength pillar. I will make sure I am there for you when you need me. I will be your son, your daughter, your mother and your father.

Many of you must be thinking why I wrote this blog today. Frankly, it is not even a blog, it is a immensely personal confession.

I want to reach out to all those kids who knowingly or unknowingly are not paying attention to their parents. Take charge before it is too late. Value them!

Spend some time with your old man, ask him if he needs any help in his work or even otherwise. Give your mom a day off from all the household work and do it for her. Take them shopping or just splurge your salary on them instead of getting drunk at a party. Or just simply be available for them. Parents have extremely simple requirements in life. All they want is time and love from their children.

I cried tons while writing this, so I really hope it reaches a few hearts and makes a difference.

Your PARENTS are the only real deal in this world full of artifice. Keep them safe and happy.

Love you Maa & Paa

Pri ❤

 

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40 thoughts on “Confessions Of an Apologetic Daughter

  1. Priyal… my wild, crazy, supremely talented student of 2 days!!
    I completely understand your angst because I was there a couple of years back!!! Lost both my parents one after another and couldn’t do half the things I should have done! I carry the bitterness every day for not being there for them when they needed me most!
    But that is also when I realised how fortunate parents are, who have daughters….
    It is only a daughter who will be by her parent’s side to the best of her ability, alongside the duties of a daughter-in law, wife, and mother.
    You will be very fortunate if you have a spouse who will stand by you in your endeavour.
    You will be there in their old age when they will need you the most!! So it does not matter anymore if you did things for them while they were still young. But it matters immensely if you will do it for them when they grow old.
    Like the saying goes… If parents could live with their daughters there would be no old age home!!!
    May God give you the strength to stand by them in their golden years, which I may add is not an easy task… All the very best to you.

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    1. Thank you so much ma’am for the lovely words. You said it all 🙂
      It breaks my heart to see my parents alone, gives me nightmares:(
      But my husbands support makes me feel better. He makes sure I visit my parents at least once in2-3 months.
      Again, thank you so much for the lovely wishes:)

      Like

    1. Hi Dear Erraticanonrants,

      Thank you for all the love, likes, shares, emails and comments on my blog. I appreciate and cherish every one of them.

      I hope you share the same sentiments for my next blog.

      The Bangalore eve-teasing incident has left the nation in a shock. Here is a similar story, which one might related too. Take a look.

      https://thediaryofacrazywife.wordpress.com/2017/01/16/sadly-molestation-is-a-daily-routine/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Priyal it’s as if all my thoughts n emotions were being penned by you ! Do you live in a different city from your parents? Once in two three months is so less to meet them . I too get overwhelmed by guilt for spending so less time with them. However I have decided to be with them even if for few hours on their birthdays, anniversary, before or after imp festival like Diwali, Rakhee etc. It’s true that the connect daughters have is incomparable….

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  2. i really felt as if someone just wrote my story down.. post reading your blog with my teary eyes all i did was speak to my parents.. thanks for writing this..

    Like

  3. I came across this blog on Facebook. It such a message of realisations. Thank you so much for writing with your heart full of love and humbleness. I did feel my heart heavy while reading this. Thank you soo much!! 😊

    Like

  4. You have touched my heart and soul equally..I have always been away from my parents since getting married as we live abroad meeting them just once a year and then too I’m full of expectations from them..Though I stay in touch with them on daily basis but I realize I need to do something much more for them than
    that..Thank you for such lovely piece of writing.

    Like

  5. This is so true!!! I always had this in my mind and you have carboned it out. My only fear is, will we be as quite as our parents? As our parents sacrificed everything for us; will we be able to do the same and still not hope for any returns from kids!!

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  6. This is beautiful yet sad. I am 22 and left home for work and various other things 3 years ago. I barely spend time with my mum. I love her so much. I feel so guilty most times. I try my best to give her time. It breaks my heart that I have to be away from her. I am actually spending the day with her tomorrow. Thank you for sharing this as I will spend less hesitatingly on her. Doesn’t matter I am in a tight spot financially. I will give her a good time. 💜

    Like

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