Today, I am in an extremely emotional mood. I don’t usually live with regret of past my actions, but this has been a burden on my heart since a long time. The regret of not being a better/good-enough daughter to my parents.
We strive so hard to be better daughter-in-laws, professionals, or spouses then why cant we work equally hard to be better daughters ? or sons ?
A quick background on my parents – my dad is a middle class business man for whom a Rs. 100 coffee at Starbucks is a luxury he cant afford. My mothers only identity are her children and husband. Period. Today, I am married in Delhi whereas my brother and his family live in Hong kong. My parents live alone, at the age of 60.
I was pampered to the end of eternity by my mother whereas my father was the disciplined one. I on the other hand always found ways to disobey and mend the rules according to my convenience. While mom is the emotional support, daddy is like a strength pillar, together they never let me fall apart. My parents like every other parent loved my brother and me unconditionally. And I, like almost every other child took their love for granted.
I never cooked a decent meal for my parents, I never offered my dad a glass of water when he returned home tired from work, my help in the household chores was limited, my work schedule never allowed me to spend quality time with them, or otherwise I was just too busy meeting with my friends.
My parents faces turned from bright and young into wrinkled and dull in front of my busy eyes and I did nothing to help.
As a daughter-in-law I cook for the entire house, I keep the house clean, I serve food/water to everyone, I accompany my in-laws at every place required, I do all this and more. I don’t regret doing all this for my family, however I do regret not doing it for my parents as well.
As one gets older and wiser, one also gets a little selfish. I realized this, when I saw the movie Dangal. For the people who have not seen the movie – Geeta (a wrestler) is trained by her father from a very young age. The father Mahavir Singh leaves his job, disobeys his family, goes against the society rules to make sure he gives a 100% for Geeta’s training. Geeta goes on to become a national champion and is sent to a professional camp for further training. This is when Mahavir gets lonely and disheartened. A daughter he loved so dearly is now on her way to success and has forgotten the man and the sacrifices he made for her to reach this position.
When I saw Mahavir Singh’s loneliness on screen, all I could do was imagine my parents surrounded with the same loneliness. They live alone so their children can be happy. They live alone so their children can be successful. They live alone so their children can have a better life. They sacrificed their future so their children could have a future.
But today is a turning point in my life as a daughter. I value my parents and their love more than ever and want to make a promise to them.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am sorry. I promise to be a better daughter. I will be your strength pillar. I will make sure I am there for you when you need me. I will be your son, your daughter, your mother and your father.
Many of you must be thinking why I wrote this blog today. Frankly, it is not even a blog, it is a immensely personal confession.
I want to reach out to all those kids who knowingly or unknowingly are not paying attention to their parents. Take charge before it is too late. Value them!
Spend some time with your old man, ask him if he needs any help in his work or even otherwise. Give your mom a day off from all the household work and do it for her. Take them shopping or just splurge your salary on them instead of getting drunk at a party. Or just simply be available for them. Parents have extremely simple requirements in life. All they want is time and love from their children.
I cried tons while writing this, so I really hope it reaches a few hearts and makes a difference.
Your PARENTS are the only real deal in this world full of artifice. Keep them safe and happy.
Love you Maa & Paa