I know it has been more than 2 months since I have written anything. I promised myself I will write only when I could completely connect to a subject. Life has been a roller-coaster since 2017 started. I was so disconnected with myself let alone feeling any kind of connection to my blogs.
Since the past 10 years I have been suffering from health issues. Thyroid, PCOD, depression, eye condition, weight gain, nose allergies, frequent fevers, colds and cough… this is just the tip of the ice-berg for the list of health issues I have. I have to take 7 medicine every single day in order to go through the day without getting tired.
All these medicines and illness lead to immense frustration. One such day just threw away all the medicines and cried my heart out. That day I wished I could go back to being 20 and undoing every wrong decision I took regarding my health, career and life in general.
Hence today I decided to write down a list of things I will educated my future children on. Whether to follow them or not will be their decision. But it is my job as a parent to share my two bits with them.
I hope when you read this, you understand that your mother says this from a place absolute, pure and unbiased love. Below is a list of things I wanted to share with you. I can only guide you towards a better life, you are big enough to decide!
- Health is wealth – When you are in your 20’s you will want to party, drink loads of alcohol, smoke, smoke-up, eat junk food, sleep late, etc etc. But taking care of your well-being is of utmost importance. Exercise as much as you can. Eat healthy. Drink responsibly.
- Learn a defensive art – To fight against molestation or robbery, one must be able to defend themselves.
- Travel, Learn, Grow – Travel as much as you can with your friends, peers, family, colleagues or even alone. Travelling opens up new horizons. You will learn to look at things with a different lens. Jump from a plane, dance in the rain, bungee jump, do what your heart pleases. Just Travel, Learn and Grow!
- Have a relationship – Yes! Your mom is asking you to date. Fall in love it makes you beautiful inside-out. Get your heart broken it makes you stronger emotionally. Go out on dates, long drives, have sex on the beach for all I care :P! It takes great courage to show your vulnerable side to a human apart from your parents. I wish you are courageous enough.
- Choose your sex partner wisely – If you are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or anyone else remember the society does not matter. Your happiness does! You should not care about the gender of the person as long as you are happy. It’s OK to have one night stands provided the person you have having it with does not make you doubt your decision in the morning.
- Make Friends – While parents protect you, friends guide you. Make sure you have that handful of people who you know are your safety-net.
- Mistakes are awesome – Don’t ever be afraid to make mistakes and try something new! Mistakes make you a better judge of people and situations.
- Education – College education is important but life education is necessary. Learn different languages, experience different cultures, paint, draw, re-invent and create! Educate yourself on something new every single day.
- “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” This quote from Confucius is from around 551Bc, but is so true for this century! Make your hobby a job. Work hard, value money and be financially independent.
- Marriage is not the final destination – Marry when you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Age, religion, money, society are not the reasons for you to make a lifetime commitment.
- Divorce is OK – Yes! It is. Period. Your life will not, shall not and cannot begin or end at a possible “happily ever after”.
And lastly, TRUST YOUR PARENTS
No matter how bad life gets, no matter how bad a person you can be, no matter how bad are the deeds you have done – always trust your parents to show you the right path. You are our child, you are a literally apart of us and nothing you will do will ever make us not love you. We might punish you, we might get angry at you, we might shout but Maa and Paa will never stop loving you. All you need to do when you are in trouble is come to us.
I hope after reading this you will have a better enriching life.
I know all you mothers will be thinking “What does she know about having children? She isn’t a mother yet”. You are right, I don’t have kids and probably don’t know anything about bringing them up. But I do know of a mothers love and worry for her child 🙂 and I think that should be enough, no?
Fyi, I have a god-daughter. Her name is Vidhi and she is 22! I was a mother to a 15 year old when I was 22. I have faced all the teenage tantrums and rebellious behavior. If you are a mother of a teenager trust me when I say “I get you, girl”. Thankfully, my daughter is the best I could ever ask for. Not to take away from the impeccably wonderful parents she has, but I think I did a good job with this one.
If you do have teenage kids, make sure they read this blog. There are times when parents feel awkward to speak to their kids, maybe this will help.
To the parents who disagree with this letter, I respect your views too 🙂
I hope I made a difference in at least one person’s life. If I did, my goal was achieved.
Loads of Love